And when that happens, intimacy, like the good china, tends to get shelved for special occasions. Before you know it, your SO becomes just the father of your children, or another relative living in your house, rather than someone who turns you on. They settle into routines, get comfortable with each other-and having kids further shifts the focus away from duodom. "That mutual self-expansion fuels circuitry in your brain that plays a role in arousal," Kerner explains. The beginning of a relationship means the constant thrill that you've found this great person and you get to keep learning about them-and learning more about yourself. ![]() Even Pink recently revealed that she and her husband had not had sex in a year. ![]() We're calling it "familialization"-the phenomenon of significant others starting to see themselves as relatives rather than as a couple-and it's one of the biggest problems that sex and relationships counselors encounter in their practices, says therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. ![]() Or when a week goes by and you realize your only physical contact has been the kind of sanitary pecks you exchange with your in-laws. That feeling when you hear yourself using the same agitated tone with your romantic partner that you used with your little brother as a kid.
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